how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
