I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I love you. Go after that dick
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
