its not stalking. its research.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
