I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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