My Higher Power is John Stamos
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
