Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
