i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize