we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
