It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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