Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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