I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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