I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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