i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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