Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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