Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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