matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
