my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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