I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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