I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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