No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
