Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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