Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
