i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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