It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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