haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
