I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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