If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
