talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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