i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
