We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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