Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
