Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I have post one night stand depression
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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