she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
