someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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