It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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