Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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