garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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