Sry I called you an 8
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize