She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
