What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize