I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
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I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket