Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.