we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
my liver is dry heaving