glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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