dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
