can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
