I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
