no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
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