apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
