Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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