Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
