Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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