Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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