guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
