so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
you never un-have a 4some
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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