i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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