Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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