Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
