At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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