If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
