i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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