he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
