I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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