i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize