I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
