I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
