And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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