Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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