i just sent this text using only my big toe
Four minutes until I can fart!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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