Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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